milk for the kids

Evalana was 19 months old and still breastfeeding when I became pregnant with Lazarus. I talked with friends who had nursed through pregnancies and read Adventures in Tandem Nursing and decided I'd continue nursing as long as it was working well for us. There were still big advantages of breastfeeding--the milk is very healthy for evalana and cuts down on illness, and it's a very easy way to calm and comfort her. Some people experience discomfort when nursing during pregnancy, but I figured we'd just continue with it until it got bad, if that ever happened for us. I knew that weaning her at the beginning of pregnancy, when she was so reliant on the milk, would be miserable for both of us. When I was I think about four months along and she was almost two years old, my milk went away. It didn't stop her from nursing, though. We started her on cow milk and also a multivitamin. She really liked the cow's milk, so I think that helped some. My colostrum came in around seven months. Very gradually she cut down on her nursing so that near the end she was only nursing about once a day for a minute or two, and, the last couple of weeks, she went several days between nursing. I never experienced pain with pregnancy nursing, but holding a large two year old with a very pregnant belly wasn't the most comfortable. I wasn't sure what to expect for after Lazarus was born. It's gone great, though. She's nursed about once a day since we came home with Lazarus. Now that there's milk, though, she nurses for quite awhile. She's been patient when I ask her to wait for Lazarus. We weren't sure where we had put my pump to start with, and Evalana helped out with the painful engorgement. As many people around us seem to be sick this time of year, I hope the milk helps these two kids to stay a little healthier. So our plan is just to continue until we want to stop. When Evalana was born, I probably never would have imagined that I'd still be nursing her, but, after learning that children would naturally wean between two and seven years old, and experiencing many of the benefits of breastfeeding, and having the support of great breastfeeding friends, I can't find any reason to force her to stop, just because breastfeeding past the age of 12 months seems abnormal in our society. And I guess our family seems to like being abnormal in a lot of ways.

cold

Poor Lazarus has managed to get a cold when he was just eleven days old. We've tried to be so careful with washing our hands and not taking him out much, but I guess it's hard when so many people are sick this time of year. And I know most people probably don't think much of exposing people to a cold, but it's hard when a baby doesn't have much of an immune system at all until they're a couple of months old, and symptoms like a runny nose that seem minor in an adult can be really hard on a baby, causing difficulty breathing, croup, or other more serious symptoms. Anyway, Lazarus has a stuffy nose that sometimes isn't too bad and sometimes causes him to struggle to breathe. After a difficult night, Joshua took him at 6am this morning and let me go lay down in the bed to sleep while he held Lazarus upright in the mei tai so that he could breathe a little more easily. Hopefully Lazarus will get over this cold quickly. I'm so thankful it's just a cold and nothing serious at all. While I was praying for him and some other sick kids last night, I was also thinking how difficult it would be for a parent to take care of their baby with HIV or some other terminal illness. Anyway, despite Lazarus's cold, I'm so thankful for his overall health. And if you want to pray with us that his nose gets cleared out quickly, that'd be great, too. Thank you.

since we've been home

Lazarus is such an easy, calm baby. He sleeps a lot, as I guess newborns do, but he has a little more awake time each day, which i enjoy. When he's awake, he just stares at whoever's holding him with his dark blue eyes. We're all loving our time with him. Evalana's such a wonderful big sister. She really loves her brother. When she comes up to peek at him, she gasps and says, "he's so cute!" The only sibling issue we've had so far are a couple of times when she's been tired and then gets hurt or something and wants to be held without Lazarus. Mostly she loves cuddling next to him. The only challenge so far is that Lazarus won't sleep if he's put down (even in the cosleeper with my arm around him), so Lazarus and I have been spending our nights in the recliner. We actually both get good sleep there, but I am looking forward to being in our bed again soon. Most nights he's woken up about 3am and 6am or so for a diaper change and milk and then goes right back to sleep. Last night we went to bed about 10pm, and he slept until 4am. Then he was up for a couple of hours before we went back to sleep that time. Joshua took last week off of work, and this week my mom and now Cheryl have been here, so most days I've been able to get in an afternoon nap with lazarus. Breastfeeding is going really well with Lazarus. He likes to suck his lips in, so we're working on that, but he's a good little eater. And, unlike Evalana who nursed for hours at a time, he actually stops nursing when he's had enough milk. It's kind of funny, though. He'll have a mouth full of milk and just decide that's enough, and he opens his mouth and drools the milk all over his face and my belly. Silly boy. I've been feeling really good--so much better than I did with evalana in her first month. Besides bad afterpains (cramping of the uterus contracting as it gets smaller, especially while nursing) on Lazarus's second and third days, which I guess generally get worse with each birth, I've been pretty much pain-free. I'm very thankful for that. I'm looking forward to more sweet time with our kids.

labor thoughts

I'm not sure if i'd say that Lazarus's 4-hour labor went quickly or slowly. I wonder what he thought.
11:00-midnight: Went by fairly quickly as my contractions were getting going, and I was laying in bed thinking how exciting it was that he seemed that he'd be coming soon.
12:00-2:00: had a snack, got packed up, tried to relax through contractions. didn't seem two hours long.
2:00-2:30: drove to the hospital. not a comfortable place for contractions but the drive wasn't as bad as I had expected. Evalana was excited. I told Joshua to drive more carefully since he was trying to hurry.
2:30-2:50: got checked into hospital. having contractions every couple of minutes, everything took longer.
2:50-3:15: contractions were getting more intense. i was laying on my side in the bed.
3:15-3:20: in the bathroom, throwing up. contractions were getting more painful.
3:20-3:26: back on the bed. really strong painful contractions. nurses yelling at me not to push. i couldn't believe it when the nurse later told me it was only nine minutes from when i came back to the bed to when lazarus was born. it seemed more like at least half an hour.
3:26-3:29: I don't know exactly how long it was, but I didn't push for long. It was a lot of pain and hard work. i had no idea he was going to come as soon as he did. i just wanted the labor over with.
3:30: knew i'd think lazarus was worth anything, but that labor seemed awful, and i didn't want to think about doing that again if we had another baby in the future. my mom, who had very quick labors, said something about shorter not being easier, and, although i'm glad not to have a three-day labor, i'd much rather do another 8-hour labor than lazarus's crazy last half hour. after evalana's birth, my first thought was that i really couldn't wait to do it again. it surprised me how different the ends of their labors were.

Other posts on Lazarus's birth day: the birth and his first day

lazarus's first day

Once I got to hold Lazarus again, I tried feeding him right away. I was having difficulty getting him to latch, so I used a nipple shield, although I now regret not trying harder without it first. Hopefully we'll get him weaned off of it soon anyway. Other than his sucking his lips in, he's been a great little nurser. Papa brought Evalana in to see Lazarus, which was so much fun. She was very excited to see her brother. Then Grandma Kidd arrived and got to see Lazarus, too. Then it was time to change rooms (from a delivery room to a postnatal room), so they took our stuff and headed down the hall while Joshua held Lazarus and the nurse helped me get cleaned up. And, thankfully, she finally took that painful hep lock out, even though she said it was supposed to stay in for several more hours. Then we walked to our room (and the nurses acted amazed that i was walking rather than riding), where Evalana was sound asleep in Grandma's arms. Pretty soon the nurses started coming in. They knew we didn't want to do most of the newborn vaccinations and procedures, so I signed another form for that. Then they told us that babies over 4000 grams needed to have their blood sugar tested at least three times. We hadn't heard anything about this before, so we asked some more questions. Lazarus was only 24 grams (equal to the weight of 24 dollar bills) over the weight that they wouldn't even consider his blood sugar, and, if his sugar was low, then they wanted to give him sugar formula to fix it, which didn't sound very good to me either. So we told them we'd pass on that as well. Then the nurse took his temperature and said he needed to go to the warmer. The other times they'd taken his temperature while he was still on me, but she wanted him laying in the crib to do it, and this time his temperature was low. I told her I'd like to try holding him on me instead, so she agreed to let him lay skin-to-skin on me with some warm blankets. When she came back to check his temperature, he was plenty warm. The only other thing we got in "trouble" for was that he was very difficult to wake up and convince to eat when it wasn't his idea.
Papa, Gigi, and my mom all went home to get some sleep. When Evalana woke up we had some breakfast. Then she was ready to go home with Grandma, too. Tompa and Grandma Nancy finally got the news that Lazarus was here (since something had gotten confused with the 4am texting). Aunt Michelle came for a visit, then Tompa and Grandma Nancy, then Uncle Alex and Aunt Bridgett. Then Gigi came to hold Lazarus while I took a nap and Joshua watched TV. Papa went to pick up Aunt Kristen and Noah from where Uncle Bill was taking them in Neosho. Then Grandma Mo and Grandpa Greg came to visit. Grandma Kidd and Evalana came. And then Papa, Aunt Kristen, and Noah all arrived. The room was a little small for wild little ones, so they soon left to go to dinner and home for the evening. Aunt Michelle came for another visit after work, and Tompa and Grandma Nancy came over after the KU game. And then it was bedtime. Lazarus didn't like to be put down, so Joshua and I took turns holding him. I loved my sweet cuddle time with my new little boy. Joshua went with Lazarus every time he had to leave the room (to be weighed or whatever), so Lazarus was never out of our sight, which both Joshua and I liked. We had told everyone that we were wanting to leave that next morning, so they did a great job of helping us check everything off our discharge list and get all of Lazarus's stuff finished up. Lazarus got his hearing test and also his heel prick PKU test, which Lazarus even slept through. And we were out of there and headed home at 10am. And Lazarus slept on the ride, which was wonderful compared to Evalana's screaming on every infant car ride. When we got home, we got a great welcome from Noah, Evalana, Aunt Kristen, Papa, Gigi, and Grandma Kidd. They had worked so hard to clean and cook for us, and Evalana even did great on her first night away from me. I'm so thankful for our wonderful family and our new baby boy.
A little more on the labor experience at http://100babies.blogspot.com/2010/12/labor-thoughts.html.

lazarus's birth

one last belly shot

My labor with Evalana kind of took us by surprise, since I'd never had a baby before. We prepared for Lazarus's birth, thinking that it might be somewhat similar, but the main similarity was just that we were once again surprised. Joshua (who will hopefully someday write his version) says he felt a new level of total helplessness in trying to help me. I think birth is just one of those amazing things where God is the one who's in control. And the whole thing is such a wonderful miracle.

at the hospital

We were thinking this labor may be about four hours instead of eight, but I guess we didn't realize how quickly those four hours would pass. Friday we celebrated Joshua's 32nd birthday with his parents and my mom and Greg here. Before Grandma and Grandpa Kidd left to return to Joplin, I said that the day before Evalana was born I'd lost my appetite, but on Friday I'd been eating well, and, other than uncomfortable contractions, I was still feeling good. Papa and Gigi spent the night, and we went to bed about 11pm. The contractions got more regular to about 10 minutes apart, so I woke Joshua up at midnight. When I got out of bed, I was shaky, which I also felt when labor started with Evalana. I told him to call his mom since she was about 2 1/2 hours away and wanted to make it to the birth. 

Evalana waiting "at labor" with Mo

I had some yogurt and coconut water (which is supposed to help hydrate), and Joshua woke up his parents so they could help get together everything on our last minute list. From the time I got out of bed, my contractions were about two minutes apart, lasting about 30 seconds each. Between contractions I wasn't wanting to get to the hospital too early, but during contractions, I felt like we wouldn't get to the hospital soon enough. We were finally all packed up, so Joshua put Evalana into the car, and we all left for the hospital. Evalana did great on the car ride, even though it was the middle of the night, and I was uncomfortable, it was just like we had talked about, and she was looking forward to meeting Lazarus. I called to have our doctor paged and found out that she was out of town. Joshua and I hadn't even considered the possibility of Mara not being there. It turned out that the doctor on call didn't get the page until 24 hours later for some reason. The lady at the emergency entrance said we'd have to wait a few minutes for the maternity people to come down if I wanted a wheelchair, so I said I'd walk. We got a few feet before I was having another contraction and had to take a break. The security guard got us a wheelchair, which Joshua shouldn't have a license to drive; he crashed me into walls the whole way. We checked into the hospital at 2:30. It took me awhile to get changed into a hospital gown since i was having contractions every couple of minutes. It must have been close to 3:00 by the time the nurse hooked me up to monitors, drew my blood (and my arm still hurts from that IV in my wrist!), and checked me. She said I was dilated to a two but that I was completely effaced and Lazarus was low down, I think at +1 (maybe?).

My mom and Gina thought they had awhile, so they went out to the waiting area with Ray and Evalana. The nurse wanted to get 20 minutes of monitoring Lazarus's heart rate, so I tried to get comfy on the bed. The nurse said they didn't have my medical records and the doctor was going to require me to get antibiotics if we couldn't find them since he didn't have proof that I didn't have group B strep. I think Joshua told them to check St. Luke's East (the other hospital Mara delivers at), and they found my papers there and faxed them over, which was a good thing because there was no way I was going to take antibiotics I knew we didn't need. Joshua set up my relaxing Christmas music I had put together, and he got out some lavender oil. He also did a fantastic job of putting counter-pressure on my back during contractions. But all of that seemed to be loosing its effectiveness, and I couldn't figure out what I needed to do to be able to relax better. After being on the monitor for 20 minutes, the nurse said he hadn't had any accelerations (or something like that, meaning that Lazarus was relaxing in there, and they wanted to see him have some activity). As calm as he'd seemed to be in there for the last month, I wasn't surprised; I was expecting that this might be a fairly laid-back boy. I asked to go to the bathroom, so they unhooked me, and Joshua helped me out. I was in there for a few minutes, as once I sat down, I didn't really feel like moving again. The contractions continued getting more painful. I threw up and my wonderful husband caught it all in the trashcan. I actually didn't lose much and never got dehydrated, i think due to the coconut water and the shorter labor. The nurse asked if I was feeling pressure in my bottom. I told her no, just that the contractions were getting more intense. Then I heard her say "Turn on the warmer. Call the..." (whoever) nurses. I was thinking she was rushing things a bit, but it ended up she was actually really smart and good at her job. I worked my way back onto the bed at 3:20. I once again tried relaxing, but the contractions were just so strong. I tried to think of what I had been doing differently that I was able to relax through Evalana's labor, but I was just feeling so much pain with these contractions. Then the pushing contractions started, and my water broke and squirted out. The nurse checked me and said Lazarus was ready to come out. I kept having to push with each contraction, and there wasn't really much of a break between contractions. The nurses were yelling at me not to push, I think because the doctor wasn't in there, but at that point I didn't care who caught the baby; Lazarus was coming whether or not there was a doctor. Just the night before, Joshua told me he took some notes on what to do if I had the urge to push but wasn't supposed to yet. I basically told him that was dumb. It's like telling someone who's throwing up to stop; the muscles just do it. So the nurses were saying things like, "Don't push! blow. hold my hand. don't push!" One nurse got in my face and said something like, "Rachel, look at me and stop pushing." I very forcefully yelled at her, "No!" as my body was pushing. Then the doctor came in and said his name--some man I'd never met. He said the baby's oxygen was dropping and I needed to get him out right away. Joshua and I never figured out how serious things really were since it seems normal that his heart-rate would drop during the stressful end of a quick labor. Anyway, I was anxious to get him out and wasn't arguing with that. So then the nurses were telling me to stop making noise and to push all I could. They threw my legs up into stirrups, which I said no to but seemed to have no choice at that point. That was one position that Joshua and I had never even considered for the birth. I asked where our moms were, and they were in the room. Joshua had called them and said, "You need to come now," when he realized how things were going. As Gina was coming down the hall, she said, "That woman sounds like she's having a hard time." It was me. Things in my room were going about like you see on TV--lots of yelling, lots of people. I could feel the pressure and burning of his little head getting close. My mom said she could see Lazarus's head, but with Evalana I pushed for 45 minutes, watching her head go a tiny bit forward and then back, so I guess I still didn't realize how close Lazarus really was. I pushed maybe four more times, then the doctor again said "don't push! stop pushing." He told me he was trying to keep me from tearing, which I appreciated. So as my body was still pushing, I was yelling, "I'm trying! I'm trying!"

Then, at 3:29am on December 18th, I felt the slippery baby come on out, and I opened my eyes, and he was there in the doctor's arms. I was asking for him, but the doctor said he had to suction his mouth first. Then they laid Lazarus up on my tummy.The doctor started to clamp the cord, but Joshua told him we wanted to wait until it stopped pulsing. The doctor said, "Okay. You tell me when it's done." Joshua and I talked to Lazarus. The doctor said, "Is the cord done yet? I can never tell." Joshua, having not studied umbilical cords for his technical writing degree, said, "I guess so." They clamped it, and Joshua cut it.

Then the doctor said something about my bleeding. I guess I was still bleeding a lot, and he was trying to figure out if I had any tears on the inside or something. The nurse took Lazarus over to the warmer. I knew that if I could feed him, it would help slow down my bleeding, but it felt like the doctor was trying to pull me inside-out, and there was no way I could hold him with the pain I was in with what they were doing. Joshua was with Lazarus the whole time, and my mom was trying to help me. I was begging for a drink of water, but they said I had to wait until they knew I wouldn't need surgery. The doctor determined that I didn't have any other tears--just a second-degree tear where I had an episiotomy last time (we'd asked for no episiotomy both times, but with Evalana I tore pretty badly in different directions, so the doctor did an episiotomy to stop some of the side tearing).


So then the doctor said I needed something to stop the bleeding from my uterus. He asked if I wanted a shot or something in my IV. I'm assuming it was pitocin. How was I supposed to know which would be better? I just wanted to hold my baby and have a drink of water. By then the nurse had finished giving Lazarus oxygen or whatever it was that she thought he needed, and Joshua was cuddling him skin-to-skin. Lazarus seemed comfy with his daddy. They gave me a shot in the leg. The bleeding stopped. The doctor sewed me up. Then the nurse cleaned me off with freezing cold water. She said their policy is to use cold water since people with an epidural can't feel it and might get burned with warm water. After lots of shivering, she finally finished up with some warmer water. I got Lazarus back and was able to feed him. Oh and somewhere in there they weighed and measured and foot-printed our boy because even though the hospital had said they like to wait and give mom a couple of hours with the baby, the nurse told Joshua that the computer wouldn't let her leave the room until she did those things. Lazarus was 8 pounds, 14 ounces, and 20 inches. I'll write more about the rest of our morning with our new little Lazarus Canaan later.    

Perfect morning

Joshua and I are loving having kids. This Christmas Eve morning, we have Christmas music playing, Sarah Beth brought over delicious cinnamon rolls, and the snow has started coming down outside. I fed Lazarus, and he is sleeping on my chest; we're cuddled together in our chair. Joshua's getting together a recipe to make 8 pecan pies. Evalana, who is completely naked because that's her favorite way to be, comes running at Joshua yelling, "Here comes a stinky bottom!" and throws herself over his shoulder with lots of great laughing. What a wonderful life we get to live. So much to be thankful for.

doctor appointment

Yesterday Lazarus had his first doctor appointment. Everything went well. Lazarus was born weighing 8, 14, left the hospital weighing 8, 7, and yesterday weighed 8, 9 at the doctor. Evalana weighed about the same at birth but then dropped down to 7, 13 by her doctor appointment. I can't really think of much else the doctor had to say. We're very thankful for our healthy boy! Then we all got to go to Gymboree together.

little brother

Evalana is having such a good time with her little brother. She is a very helpful big sister. She likes to bring things to us and is also full of helpful suggestions when he is sad. On her way home from the hospital, on her first night without me (which she didn't seem to mind since she had Aunt Kristen, Noah, Gigi, Papa, and Grandma Kidd all here with her), she said, "I just need to kiss Lazarus really really badly." So far Lazarus doesn't require much other than being held, so things have been pretty easy. Also, Joshua worked from home Monday morning and now has the rest of the week off, which is wonderful.

More pictures at http://100babies.shutterfly.com/

pictures of our boy

here are some pictures of lazarus we have so far:

http://100babies.shutterfly.com/
http://www.bellababyphotography.com/  and password: 1218lazarusvaughn

lazarus's birth stats game

For everyone who played in Lazarus's birth stats game, here are the results:

fewest points wins


Rank Player Name Guess Difference Points From Who I Am



1 Stephanie - - 66.25 Olathe KS friend


2 Joshua - - 133.00 Olathe KS Father


3 Grandma Moser - - 137.42 Lenexa KS Rachel's Mom


4 evalana - - 144.33 olathe KS new baby's big sister


5 Briana Moser - - 174.92 omaha NE Rachel's Cousin


6 Sheila - - 183.50 Roeland Park KS Friend


7 Tompa - - 184.92 Leawood KS Rachel's dad


8 Amy C - - 185.25 Independence MO


9 Kristen - - 237.58 Olathe KS Friend


10 Jaime - - 245.58 Olathe neighbor/friend


11 Leah - - 291.00


12 Aly Millert - - 292.25


13 Heather - - 364.17 Lenexa KS friend


14 Melissa Cortez - - 422.42 Salt Lake City UT College co-RA's!


15 Marcy - - 525.25 Olathe Friend


16 Grandma Gigi - - 759.00 AR Joshua's Mom


17 Mo - - 807.42 Rachel's Mom

Lazarus Canaan

Lazarus Canaan has arrived! He was born at 3:29am and weighed 8 lbs, 14 oz., and is 20 inches long. The Vaughn family of four is doing great and enjoying our sweet blessing.

Daddy's birthday

Today is Joshua's 32nd birthday. On Wednesday we went to dinner on the plaza with Tompa and Grandma Nancy. Today Papa, Gigi, and Grandma and Grandpa Kidd, and Grandma Mo and Grandpa Greg are coming over. Everyone's still hoping for a baby to come soon.

lauerman christmas

Saturday we got to celebrate Christmas with Tompa, Grandma Nancy, Aunt Michelle, Uncle Alex, Aunt Bridgett, and Uncle Matt. Unfortunately Aunt Jennifer and Chris had to stay in Arizona. Evalana loves spending time with her family. And it was fun to start the Christmas celebrations!

Evalana liked to hand out the gifts and help open them

 

Evalana teaching everyone how to play Zingo